Such a big word. Don’t you think?

I am not teaching Victoria to say "I’m sorry" all the time. I want to know what she is willing to do in exchange for what she has done to hurt another. I’m teaching her acknowledgement. I don’t want her to simply say “I’m sorry” and that’s that—and then repeat the behavior.

My spiritual minister, Amy Pierce, says forgive is: “What will you ‘give for’?” It is not my place to forgive anybody’s actions. That’s the high and mighty ego—or what I tell Victoria is “the Bad Wolf”—running the show.

On a personal level, I do my best to set this example for her. I try to look at the underlying reason behind someone hurting me—or me hurting them—and see what I can learn from that. I’m not going to wave a magic wand and say, “I forgive you,” or “I accept you hurt me,” or “I’m sorry.” I want to know what I or they can do better to make the situation better.

Sorry and forgive—such big words that people throw around way too easily, thinking it will always make things better. Or that it will justify actions or feelings of entitlement. And sometimes, people want to hear them over and over and over and...

If you know me, then you know these words aren’t words I use often—because the actions I take and the words I speak usually mean something to me. So I can assure you, if I do say them, I mean them.

So let’s leave it here...

Can you forgive yourself?

Apologize to yourself first?

Because it all comes back to our Authentic Selves and how we allow the world to influence, define, or move us—closer or farther away from one another.