A moment to reflect on what has been haunting my mind."The unfolding of the human flower" as Mark Nepo would say....."When the face of our soul and the face we show the world is one." Can we find a sense of peace.As a child I always promised to do what I love and to always be true to myself. Awhile back a student asked if I was the same person on the mat teaching as I was off the mat? I told her I couldn't imagine being someone else. What you see is what you get. No different at home or with my family or friends. She mentioned that each day she stepped out of her home, she had to put a mask on.....This shifted my teaching...A lot.The Authentic Self. Your true Self. Who is that? When did people start putting masks on before they left the house. Why? We live in a culture that is so faST paced that we can't seem to slow down enough to connect with ourselves. People spend more time making out with their cell phones than with one another. Not saying we all need to be making out, but really just watch people these days drive, eat with friends, they live connected to some silly little device.When was the last time you had comfortable silence with a friend with out the cellphone or computer?How long can you go with out it?Moving on.I ramble. and I am okay with that. I don't follow the scholarly way of writing y that's fine with me, b/c either way sit with me and I will connect with you. I enjoy stimulating conversations. I don't care much for politics or religious conversations.  I don't pay attention to proper etiquette all the time and it doesn't bother me. If I am not content with something, I look at it and see how I can change my perspective. I take risks and I make the efforts where I see fit and necessary at the time being. I practice mindfulness and if  a waiter asks me if everything is okay when it is not, I will kindly let them know.For awhile now I have had other teachers working at the studio. Now I am very selective. I have less than a handful b/c they are at a super sacred space that I had built with in the trees. I found myself  being cautious on not offending the teachers that represented my studio and why? B/c it was the first time I had people working for me. Many a times over I lost the ability to trust a few as I found their actions did speak louder than their words. That tainted me. I felt myself getting sick each time I was betrayed, lied to, or ignored. It was toxic. And for the first time I cared about them more than me. Yuck. All b/c I wanted to be considerate of their feelings. A few were great. A few not so great.After I married Chris, he suggested I build in the backyard. Best idea ever. It took me 3 years to realize what I did not want with chance after chance of trying to give contractors the benefit of the doubt when I chose for them to work at my 2nd home. And now it is hitting 5 years and these last 2 years have been the best ever.The person I lost awhile back I re-found when the new location opened last year. Did I put a mask on? I didn't. Or wait did I? I wanted people to like me. Growing up I didn't have many friends and I missed that, and now that I am older, I think, hey this will be easier...No..Not really, b/c a lot of times that same b.s. that happened in grade school or high school still happens. With 20, 30, 40, 50 year olds. Clics, popularity, no escaping it. Silly stuff really, but here I am writing about it, wondering why do people behave certain ways. B/c they are different and were raised differently and that I can't expect everyone to always be nice and that being polite really meant being polite.   I still try to give people the benefit of the doubt as I wish they would with me, but still I find that people don't always realize that by them being "polite" they are being hypocritical and not authentic in my blog.Either way this has been on my mind. At the end of the day. I still do care what people think b/c it helps me to grow. Growing up, my father was critical, so I enjoy that it kind of keeps my firing burning at times.   And as I reread this post before I send it out, I see I have a lot of work to do. A lot of work to do on my ego.  And I find that I thank the many gifts and lessons learned by the not so nice people.